The New York Post:
Turns out ‘beta’ males aren’t that popular even in woke circles. Who knew?
My friend Mark, 36, is a “catch” by many New York City standards. He’s good-looking, highly educated, and a talented photographer. He’s also progressive and participates in protests and gives to left-leaning causes. And Mark is looking for love. He wants to get married and have kids.
In a liberal city like New York, swimming with single women wishing they weren’t, one could assume Mark wouldn’t have a problem finding a mate. And while he dates and recently had a couple of short-lived relationships, Mark remains single. He’s trying to understand why.
“I’m really open-minded and cool about gender stuff on dates, but I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells,” Mark told me. “If I pay for dinner, it signals I don’t value my date as my equal so I’m super casual about it all. If she wants to pay or split it or whatever, that’s fine with me.”
I told Mark that, despite his best intentions, his egalitarian dating style could be the problem that’s holding him back. While some women balk at any hint of traditional male gender behavior, more lament the loss of chivalry. I’m one of them. I find it attractive when a man plans our first few dates and knowingly walks curbside when we’re together. It signals he wants to protect me from passing traffic or errant puddle splashes.
“When I was a kid, my mom told me to always walk curbside, but I assumed my generation of women would think it’s too old-fashioned,” Mark told me. “Now, I’m really confused.”
The female desire to feel protected and looked after is built into our DNA, says evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller, a professor at the University of New Mexico and author of several books including “The Mating Mind.”
“It’s a mismatch between what progressive women say they want and what they actually respond to,” Miller told me. i.e., a mental disorder
“Women’s instinctive mate preferences have evolved for hundreds of thousands of years for guys who are competent, strong, good providers, good protectors and happy with a sexual division of labor,” he added. Women want “decisive men who are also compassionate and thoughtful.”
A 2018 study from Iowa State University backs this up, reporting that progressive women prefer men who demonstrate more traditional dating behaviors. The women found these men to be “more attractive” because they signal a willingness “to invest by being protective, committed, and by providing resources.”
But is the feeling mutual? Do conservative men seek progressive women? This has not been studied, but … Wethinks no!