Don’t get me wrong — finding shrimp in your cereal is absolutely disgusting. But I’d argue that more troubling than the discovery itself is the series of events that led to the shrimp mingling with cereal in the first place. Like, um, does General Mills have a seafood business we don’t know about? Secretly slinging fish on the side? General Mills, the King of the Pescatarian Black Market? Are they the ones who make the freeze-dried shrimp that go in store-bought packages of noodles? I simply need answers and I need them now.
And the response from Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and brands in general in this situation, absolutely cracks me up. “Oh, hey Jensen, sorry about the vaguely horrifying shrimp tails you found in your breakfast cereal — why don’t you slide in your DMs so we can mail you another fresh box of our $4, non-shrimp tainted cereal! Sorry for the inconvenience!”